Seeking a House to make a Home

We have spent the last few weekends looking for a house on the east side of the city of Rochester. Our families reside on the east side and we are the only ones to the west. It is our hope that moving closer will help to encourage closer family ties and more frequent visits.

I say we are seeking a house because that is just what it is. A house is a structure of wood, metal and stone. It can be elaborate or simple. We are looking for a house that clicks with our personalities. I am seeking a house with excellent structural integrity that might need some cosmetic work, as I would want to add my own touches anyway.

Here in Holley, we painted our kitchen yellow with green cabinets and white cabinet doors. I painted flowers on each of the 22 cabinet doors, each one unique. It was a labor of love. There is no other kitchen exactly like it. The dining room was painted  teal with a lighter teal sponged over it. On one wall cherry tree limbs with blossoms were painted in metallic paints with glittery butterflies and Chinese characters for love, peace and prosperity. These touches turned the house into a home, as these projects were meant to bright beauty to those I loved that dwelled within the walls with me.

A home is not made of walls, it it made of hearts. Christian Morgenstern said, “Home is not where you live but where they understand you.” I believe that to be true. That is why some people feel more at home at their workplace or at their friend’s house. Home is where love and acceptance abides. Mother Teresa was quoted as saying “It is easy to love the people far away.  It is not always easy to love those close to us.  It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home.  Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.” Of course, there are times of stress and strife in a home. We should do our best to love and appreciate those in our family and our lives.

A cute little anecdote from Barbara Johnson reads as follows: Once a reporter stood in front of a fire as it consumed a house and then he turned to see the homeowners and their little son watching it burn.  The reporter, fishing for a human interest angle, said to the boy, “Son, it looks like you don’t have a home anymore.” The little boy promptly answered, “Oh, yes, we have a home. We just don’t have a house to put it in.”

You can build a house but you have to make a home. As in any close relationship, it takes continuing effort to keep it strong. The same applies for making a home a place of peace, joy and respite. I will miss the house we have now. I enjoyed adding the loving touches to the house and look forward to exploring my artistic impulses in the next house.

It is my hope that you are warm and safe in your own home. Take care.

Come ‘n Get It!

We enjoyed a nice dinner with family last night at TGI Fridays. Theresa was provided a gift card from her work as a reward. She offered to take the family out for dinner which was even a greater reward. Three different households were together at one table.

Family meals have always been important to me. I recall, from my youth western, movies where the cook would walk out of the ranch house and ring an iron triangle hanging from a post rafter and yell out, “Come ‘n get it!”

I was raised on a farm, so there was always work and we were very often away from the house. My mother would bang a large metal pan to signal us. It was always a welcomed sound. Family meals were a way to cement our relationships, share news and concerns, and enjoy each other’s company. It was even more special when my father was there.

Theresa did not eat breakfast when I first met her. I am glad to hear now that she has come to enjoy eating breakfast and sharing the morning meal. I enjoy cooking breakfast which is not only the most important meal but my favorite as well. We start each morning with a prayer of thanksgiving and then our meal. This reminds us to be thankful for all the blessings that we have and the ones that we will have throughout the day.  We also have dinner each night with a prayer of thanksgiving as well.

It is a hectic world that we live in. Many family meals compete with school activities, social events, and hanging out with others. I would guess that some families might not have a family meal together even when they are all in the house together. We meet at our table with the television turned off. This gives us a chance to connect with each other. We talk about the events of the day. We discuss the interesting things that we may have read, seen or listened to. We share our schedules. We offer support to each other if there are concerns or worries.

Family meals are not a cure all, but there are many positive effects. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) of Columbia University found that the more often children have dinners with their parents, the less likely they were to smoke, drink or use drugs.  CASA found that frequent family dinners make a difference.

The family meal is a great place to teach kids manners. A skill that may prove extremely useful when they enter the world on their own. When kids are involved in the preparation and cleanup, it teaches them valuable skills that they will need to take care of themselves and others.

Most of us realize and enjoy the importance of holiday meals, like Thanksgiving. This type of joy can be found everyday in simple meals, whether home-made or take-out. It is important to spend time with our families. Come ‘n get it! Food, love, support, companionship, you can have that and more during the family meal.

God’s Healing Spirit

In services today, there was a laying on of hands and prayer for healing. I sincerely hope that the service brought comfort and healing to those involved. I have been suffering from chronic pain for many years. Most of my pain is from arthritis with some nerve pain caused by taking statins. The gabapentin that I take for the nerve pain helps me the most. I actually did not participate in the laying on of hands portion of the service. I have been praying for healing for a very long time. I am not dissuaded from God’s love or caring. Paul had been afflicted by “a thorn in his flesh” and had asked God three times to heal him, but God said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Who am I to demand that God heal me, when he chooses not to?

I believe God heals miraculously and through people as well. Some are given gifts of medicine and science and ease suffering this way. Some use their afflictions and disabilities to bring glory to God and uplift not only those afflicted like them but to inspire others as well. There are several examples, but one that comes to mind immediately is the story of Nick Vujicic. He was born without arms or legs. He prayed mightily to be made whole. Even though he did not look whole on the outside, he is complete on the inside. Nick may not have received the miracle he was looking for but became the miracle God meant him to be. God healed his spirit. Nick’s ministry, Life Without Limbs, has brought hope and inspiration to so many.

Compared to what many people deal with, the pain that I suffer seems so insignificant. I will seek understanding as God continues to reveal his will for me.

May this new year bring you many blessings.

Past and Forward

New Year’s always brings about thoughts of a year gone by and a year of opportunities ahead. There is always a struggle between “what was” and “what can be”. Some of us want things the way they were, and others look forward to revitalizing what is. Of course, everyone does a mixture of both. Oh the “good ol’ days”, what if they were here again? There are those moments that I wish for simpler times. But then I realize how much I have now and the blessings that I would have missed. I am thankful for all the gifts and challenges my life has provided. I have learned a lot from both, especially from the challenges. The most precious of these are my relationships, and those relationships are full time jobs and I need to keep working hard to keep them vital.

A new year lies ahead. I am determined to revitalize my attitude concerning my new position. I am confused about my responsibilities but determined to do the best. We never can really rest on our laurels. We must continually work towards a better tomorrow, and if that better tomorrow is already here, then it is our responsibility to keep it vital.

Our lives and our culture is a constant mixture and battle between “what was” and “what can be” while we live in the “what is.” Our past has had many good points, some worth continuing and rejuvenating such as chivalry, personal responsibility, respect for elders and authority for instance. But we also must have the courage to move forward, maybe not with a different message, but delivered in a different way – one more relevant to the expectations of the audience. Contemporary Christian music comes to mind. What was once relegated to hymns is finding popularity in every music genre, including hip-hop. I am impressed with the ingenuity of the artist to provide such uplifting and positive messages in such a variety of formats.

I am looking forward to the opportunities of this new year. It is my hope and wish that the New Year brings to you many blessings.

And the Truth is?

I had a very interesting conversation with my co-workers. One of them asked a long while ago the difference between a fact and truth. We had a lively discussion and even did some light research overnight before finishing the topic. The topic came up again today. Officially, I guess, a fact is something that can be proven, whereas a truth is a generally accepted idea which can be based in fact but not necessarily.

We then discussed whether facts were always facts. We decided they were not. When I went to school, it was a fact that Pluto was the ninth planet, but now the fact is that it is not a “real” planet at all but a dwarf planet. Poor Pluto. But my truth tells me that Pluto is a planet and always will be.

For many aeons, the truth was that the earth was the center of the universe and that it was flat, not round like the ancient greeks or Columbus believed it to be.  Columbus helped prove that the truth is that the earth is round.

For very young minds, God bless them, there is a simple truth for everything – it’s magic. Why not, it held together cultures for generations. Humans have always had a penchant for knowing, a need to have answers. It really didn’t matter if they were true or factual, just so they made sense. A flaming chariot racing across the sky, why not? I am sure it made sense to someone.

There are many creation stories on how the earth came to be.  In ancient Africa, the Bakuba believed that Mbombo, the White Giant, who ruled over a chaotic ocean of water and darkness became sick to his stomach and vomited up the sun, moon, stars, people, trees, animals and many other things.

In India, the god Vishnu awoke with a lotus growing from his navel. Inside the lotus blossom sat Brahma, servant to Vishnu. Vishnu commanded Brahma to create the world, and he did, but it was bare, so he created plants, animals, birds, and insects.

In Mongolian lore, Father Heaven had two sons who ruled the worlds upper and lower. The ruler of the upper world asked a duck to bring up mud to create the earth. When the ruler of the under world saw the ruler of the upper world resting on the earth, he tried to pull him under but the earth spread instead. The ruler of the upper world used mud to create animals and people. The ruler of the underworld spit upon the bodies of the new creations so that they would have diseases and die.

These and many more made perfect sense to those people long ago. Some may even hold these beliefs today. I am sure that the ancient Romans believed as sincerely in their gods as I do in my God. There is no doubt in my mind.

Even in our Bible today, which describes creation, there exists a rift between those who believe it was a literal six 24-hour days and those who view the days as symbolic of long periods, a thousand, or even millions of years.

There is, in the end, a simple truth: God is love and He wants us to love one another. I find it amazing that the Golden Rule is described, in slightly different ways, in more than 20 religions and philosophies. So even in the variations of truth and belief, the message seems to be getting through. In my search for truth, I know that God is Love and it is my responsibility to love others.

Take care, stay well and be safe.

Paying Attention

I saw part of a very interesting program on the National Geographic Channel called Brain Games.  The show featured concepts of how we pay attention and how easily fooled we are because we really can’t pay attention to many things at once. Before watching this show, I thought I paid either very good attention to everything or none at all. The show proved to me that I do not have the attentive powers that I thought I had. The presenters showed a scene that changed seven times with an interval of black one second long between changes. I did not recognize a single change. But I also remember reading a study that if you want people to pay attention to a bulletin board, you need to rearrange the items, so that it appears different.

Our brain fills things in as we pay attention to one thing at a time. This skews our realization of reality. This is probably why eyewitnesses to accidents often have differing stories as to what had happened. Did you ever play that game in school where the teacher whispers in a students ear and asks that student to pass it on to the next. After 20 or 30 re-tellings, the message is much different then the original. We only have a perception of reality and that is limited to what we pay attention to. The arguments of reality vs. perception and truth vs. fact have been waged for millennia. Knowledge through the ages has been gained and lost. Ancient civilizations paid attention to the stars, tracking their movements. Then somehow, we, citizens of earth, seemed to lose that knowledge. We exist in a real world, but what is our reality? I have often considered myself a bit of a realist, but now I think I will expand my views.

Our expectations taint our reactions and we pay attention to what is important to us. Imagine that we are in a waiting room, if we are interested in music, we might pay more attention to the music of our surroundings. However, if we are more interested in art, we might pay more attention to the paintings hanging on the wall. All those things are present and we may even notice them all but not necessarily pay attention to them.

Looks like I need to pay attention to the clock and sign off. Good night all.

Fashion Tells a Tale

I am fortunate to work in an area surrounded by international businesses and educational institutions. When I shop at the local Walmart, I see people from so many different cultures. This is mostly displayed by the women in the store. I have enjoyed seeing what appears to be Muslim, African, Asian, Indian and Jamaican dress. Although these are traditional by nature, it is the everyday western dress that intrigues me. Does dress reflect personality? I believe it does sometimes, but sometimes I think it is just trend following. I see some who dress very well, not necessarily fancy, but with pride. Many others I see dressed as if they truly do not care, and probably don’t.

I’ve seen outfits that involve spikes and rings and chains adorning tattooed skin – I think, is that outfit designed to keep people away, to intimidate? Maybe they do reflect their personality but I can’t help but think that they are hiding their true selves, even from themselves.

I also see more and more instances of pajama wearing. I suppose it is comfortable attire, but I wonder if it is really appropriate as street wear.

My son likes to wear t-shirts with skulls. I am not sure why. He says he likes them and maybe he does. I know that he has a good heart so I find it confusing that he wears “dark” clothing. I probably just don’t ‘get” it.

Ever since Adam and Eve realized that they could not truly hide from God, they hid psychologically inside clothes. I believe their nakedness was that they felt vulnerable to the knowing of God. Clothing helped to hide themselves and placate their shame of disobedience.

So what do you think? Do our clothes reflect our personality? Do they just shelter us from the elements? Does fashion really matter? I am not sure, but it certainly is interesting to view the fashions that exist.

Letters from the Past

Tonight, while I filed a business letter, a file that held letters that I had sent to my family through the years popped open inviting me to read. The letter at the top of the file was one that I wrote to my father a month before he passed. Even though he lived with me, I still found it comforting to write him a letter.

I spent a little time skimming through the letters beginning with the one at the bottom and moving forward through time. I enjoyed reminiscing but was amused at what I found important to impart in the letter at the time seem so unimportant now.

It reminded me of the challenges that present themselves everyday. There are some very serious, sometimes gruesome challenges, but the vast majority of things that worry us, bother us or annoy us really don’t amount to much years later. Many don’t amount to much even days later.

Say you encounter a surly cashier that really dampens your day, do you really want to spend a lot of time being aggravated by that. Will it have any lasting effect on your life an hour from now or a day from now or even a month from now? If you reacted to that cashier with a smile and wished them a great day, you just may have made a lasting effect on them.

Besides realizing that many things that seemed important then are merely moments in my past, it was an enjoyable stroll through time. There were also some treasured memories in there as well, especially those letters that recalled day trips with my children or family events. It was never “things” that were important, it was the time spent with loved ones.

I guess I better start making more memories. I hope that all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and reflected on the blessings that abound around us.

Downsize Survivor

If you have been following my blog, you might know that my employer has been reorganizing. The results are finally in. I am a downsizing survivor. I am blessed and grateful for continued employment. I am no longer a supervisor or in management, but I am still working.

The persons let go represent not only wonderful human beings but also each was an incredible wealth of knowledge and experience.  The company provided severance pay, some continued benefits and maybe even some outplacement services. It is well and good that the company provides something for the departing individuals. I fear that the survivors may be overlooked.

Immediately after the announcement, I spoke with my employees for a few minutes letting them know that it had been a honor to be their supervisor for the last three years and that they would be working for their new supervisor in a few days.

Even though they were not part of the reorganization this time, they were nonetheless affected by the changes. They were perplexed, maybe a bit angry, and uncertain about the near future. Of course, a situation such as this can also cause feelings of distrust, questions about loyalty, resistance to change, stress and fear. I want to make an effort to help them move through this grieving process. It is grieving. They were close to those who had lost their jobs. Their relationships has been stressed. Duties may change as management figures out who is available to do what and who fits best to do it.

I told my group today that I would continue to support them with my experience, my knowledge and my presence, but could not and would not interfere with management functions. As our new functions fall into place and evolve, I promised my co-workers that I would do my job to the best of my ability. You don’t need to have a title to be a leader. The Tao says in the 66^th poem, In order to master people one must speak as their servant; in order to lead people one must follow them.

In Paul’s letters to the Colossians, he reminds us that all we do we should do for the glory of God. “Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord  as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:22-25 NIV Of course, we are not slaves, we are employees, but if even slaves are expected to do their sincere best, then I think we should provide no less.

I will do my very best in my new position and hope to bring glory to God and a certain calmness to those around me. My personal goal is to continue to lead by following and setting a good example. Thanks to all my loyal readers for tagging along with me in this brief storm in this journey called my life.

Storms in Life

I have written about seasons in our lives, but like any season, there are occasional storms. In our physical life, these storms can cause damage to trees, our homes or even cause flooding. But often the storms drive us inside but bring life-bringing water. Storms in our personal life can be destructive but can also be instructive.

We all have experienced personal storms, where we are deluged by several situations occurring at once or one critical situation that worries us and take much of our attention. I have written before when I had become ill and thought I would be unable to return to work. This was a devastating time for me, but it was a chance for me to sort out what was really important in my life. That particular storm was both destructive but eventually instructive.

We are faced with trials, caused either by ourselves or others. The writer of Hebrews states; Endure hardship as discipline. – Hebrews 12:7 NIV. If we think of storms as a way to learn lessons, we can purposely look for the lesson. The writer of Hebrews goes on in verse 11; No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

The lessons can be a new outlook on life, a solution not thought of before, a demonstration of strength that you never thought you could achieve. It may even allow us to see the love and caring of others. It can build character and perseverance that we need for another time.

My current storm involves a threat of unemployment due to company reorganization. Whether I lose my job next week or not, I will consider it an opportunity to move on to the next chapter in my life. Like anyone, just not knowing is scary, but we cannot let fear paralyze us.

There is a storm in my life. I could try my best not to get wet, or I could learn to dance in the rain. I think I’ll dance. Yes, I will dance.