Daily Archives: January 6, 2010

A Safe Relationship

   While listening to the radio during my commute to work, I heard an interesting conversation about why some people become uncomfortable when things are going well for us when we move to change positively. Having witnessed this before, I was curious as to the direction of the banter.

   One reason presented was that the other person in the relationship may be insecure and feels better around you because of one-upmanship.  They may be thinner or wealthier or happier or feel they have it together more. The relationship is threatened when you move to change the dynamics that exist. They may be supportive of your efforts at first and as you change they realize they are losing their place where they had felt comfortable. They didn’t feel safe because of their insecurity. A safe relationship is one where you can feel comfortable with a person not because of insecurities but in spite of them.

    Everyone should have at least one “safe” relationship because everyone deserves to feel loved. Not “safe” as in an unabusive relationship, which a safe relationship would be, but one where you are accepted for who you are and who you are becoming, especially if you are moving in a positive direction. If you were moving in a negative direction, this same safe relationship would confront you in a loving and supportive manner with concern about what is best for you. Safe means loving in an unconditional way.

    Agape love is often attributed to divine love, and it is a divine love, but it is also a kind of love that we can have for each other. Agape love can be demonstrated by loving parents every day. Parents love their children, even when they misbehave. Parents celebrate with them when their children are doing well. They also guide and support them when their children are challenged. This kind of agape love is not just reserved for God or parents. This kind of love is available to all of us, regardless of the type of relationship we have.

    I hope that you have at least one safe and loving relationship, whether it be with a friend, child, parent, lover, teacher, student or any other close relationship. I hope that there is someone in your life that you feel safe with, where you feel loved, accepted and protected. I hope there is someone there who has your very best interest at heart. I also hope that you are this person to someone else.

    I also hope that you have this kind of relationship with yourself. Do you accept yourself? Do you realize that you are loved and are lovable? Do you work towards your own good? Do you set goals and strive to reach your full potential? Can you be honest with yourself, be merciful to yourself and forgive yourself? God gave us all gifts and talents. Have you found yours? Are you going to open the gift God gave you and share it with the world or leave the blessing unopened? Remember, you always have this safe and loving relationship with your Creator. God always loves you, you just have to accept His love, His grace, His forgiveness.

    Don’t hide your light under a bushel but bring it forth so that it can shine for all to see. I want to celebrate your gifts and blessings. I want to see the treasure that is you because God doesn’t make junk. You are precious, a treasure, a gift to the world and the gifts given to you are to be shared with the world.

    May God bless you throughout the year. Accept the wonderful blessings that abound. Be the treasure you were meant to be. Take care, stay well and be safe.