Monthly Archives: February 2011

Missing My Butterfly

Laura enjoying the splendor of Corning Glass Works

It has been a year since Laura A. Verdow Santelli had passed away (February 20, 2010). On this anniversary of her death, I began thinking of the attributes that I missed most about her.

What I miss most is her smile, so wide, when she saw me. I miss how easily she laughed, even at the corniest jokes. I miss her playfulness and her free spirit and sincere affection.

I also miss how she cried into my shoulder when she expressed her frustration and fears about her finances and health. I miss that because she trusted me enough to make herself vulnerable in that way. It made me feel needed, respected, and loved.

Laura had a very loving heart. She adored her children. Her needs were simple and she thought more about what other people needed and less about herself. She was not perfect, of course, but her positive attributes far outweighed any negative traits she might have had.

Of course, Laura is in a better place now. She is in the presence of God. I know that she is looking over her children. I know that she is at peace and pain free. I look forward to seeing her when I pass on.

I miss you, my butterfly. The time we had together was a precious gift. Take care and know that I will always love you.

Other postings related to Laura A. VerDow Santelli:

My Butterfly Became an Angel
A Glimpse of a Butterfly

Happy Valentine’s Day

This day was established  by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD. It was named after a priest, Valentine of Rome who married young men and women in defiance of an order decreed by Emporer Claudius II that young men not be married as he figured that they would be better soldiers. Valentine performed the marriages secretly until he was caught and subsequently martyred in 269 AD.

This is another of those holidays that I think should come every day. Although, I believe there are certainly those who need to be “reminded” to show appreciation to their loved ones, it really should be an every day practice.

Just think about all the things that your spouse or love one does for you every day that you might take for granted. Does she make breakfast? Does he brush the snow off the car? Does he do the dishes? Does she record his favorite programs? All these seemingly little things, and many more, are little ways that say “I love you, you are important to me and I am glad that you are in my life.” I try to think about all the things that my girlfriend and sons do for me in this way.

It is too easy to take these things for granted. Sometimes, we just assume that what has gone on will always go on. We “expect” our loved ones to do things for us, to think about us, to care about us. Even if we do expect them too, they should be told that their efforts are appreciated. Take your loved one in your arms, look them in the eyes and say, “I love you. I am so glad that you are part of my life. You are truly a blessing to me, a wonderful gift from God.”  When was the last time you said something like that? If it hasn’t been lately, then say it soon.

This holiday is a bittersweet one for me. It was exactly a year ago on Valentine’s day that I last saw my Butterfly alive. She passed away a few days later. My last memories of her that day involved smiles, hugs and kisses. It was a wonderful day.

As I learned last year, you just never know when a loved one might depart. They may depart physically, emotionally or even depart this life. Nothing is permanent. Take advantage of the time you have, because now is the only time you really have. Tell those you love that you love them, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day.

Let every day be Valentine's Day!

Experiencing Time

I have noticed over the past weeks the varying degrees that time has sped by me. My mornings go by so very quickly. I arrive at work at 8AM and when I look up at the clock it is already 11:30. It only seemed like a few minutes. Then there are those afternoons where the clock seems to take days to get from 1PM to 5PM. I haven’t quite figured it out. I realize that I am getting older and that time moves more quickly as we age. I think that might be because we lose the magic and wonderment of it all. Children are learning and experiencing new things all the time and those same things are old hat to me. I remember when time crawled so slow it was agony to wait 10 minutes.

I often lose track of time when I am in deep and interesting conversations with my girlfriend. A hour will pass by in what seems like a mere 10 minutes. I also experience differences in my perceptions of time when traveling. When driving to my sister’s home in Maryland (315 miles away) it takes a long time. Yet when I am driving home, it seems so much faster. I think it is just the idea of heading towards home.

I know that there are 60 seconds in every minute and 60 minutes in every hour. Like you, I only have 24 hours in my day. But I wish sometimes there was a way to slow down the time, especially to savor those moments of pleasure and joy.

Thank you for your time in reading this. Oh my, look how late it got to be. There I go again. Take care, stay well and be safe.